More from the still-unpublished files of Liam Greenlaw, c.2007

Disheartened but undaunted, the Snudges returned to their roots and concentrated enforcing line, composition and a ruthless understanding of perspective on the public. Rallying from the failure of the Scotland caper, they soon controlled the paint and pigment market, framing shops and unlicensed portrait painting.

Success returned and the Snudges soon became the darlings of well-heeled London society. From Lords of the Realm to film stars, all clamored to get close to the Snudges and their ruthless sensitivity.

Notoriety such as this has its price, and soon the Snudges would be faced with competitors. The most famous of these was a rival gang of South London artists known as the Timlinsons. Headed by brothers Charlie and Eddy and driven by jealousy and emerging continental influences, the Timlinsons attempted to challenge the Snudges for the artistic control of London.

Known as the Torture Group for their particular style of enforcing taste, they brought different elements to the art markets of the time.

"One part auteur, one part bollocks," explained Juan Baptista. "They were Dadaists really - no formal training, no sense of scale, wouldn't know a classical tradition if it bit them in the arse."

"We took them on of course," adds Django. "Hired some North London lads with Pre-Raphaelite influences, these boys were wistful, if you know what I mean, and could puts the boots up real nasty like."

With a gangland battle about to reach its boiling point, the Snudges, by a wicked twist of fate, were arrested. Done in by an informant, the Snudges were charged and convicted of taking the tags off mattresses in contravention of the Stuffers and Upholsterers Act 1934. "It ruined the symmetry of my bed." Claims Django -."I look back now and I still think it was the right thing to do... I have no regrets."

And maybe it was the right thing to do. Sentenced with two years less a day, the Snudges were shipped off to Brixton Prison leaving the streets of London to continental poseurs and tired classicists but more importantly to the place where they would find their true calling.

"It all started the day we arrived." Recalls Juan Baptista. "It was the surveillance cameras. They were everywhere. We were truly offended."

"Exactly" adds Django. "The grain was horrendous, the camera angles, well, amateur really, and such an appalling use of light. Depth of field, composition, the lot -- it was a nightmare."

This horror unleashed the power of their latent cinematic sensibility and torrent-like the Snudges set about not only to correct the visuals at Her Majesty's prisons but also to change the course of British cinema.

Again twists of fate had played its magic, the seeds of this artistic revolution had been planted just days before their arrival at Brixton. As legend would have it, the Snudges, whiled away their time awaiting sentencing at Bromley Street Magistrates Court with Peter O'Toole and Richard Harris, both up on a drunk and disorderly, discussing the fine art of hitting your mark and finding your key light.

"They were a bit nancy but they knew their focal depth and we just built upon that," recalls Thackeray.

And built they did, in just two short years the Snudges had altered the of British surveillance and British cinema into the bargain.

"We could chart the magic hour in every prison yard in every prison in the country. If only we could've added sound. We tried but the government wanted everything MOS. Can't blame them really," states Juan Baptista.

Released but not rehabilitated, the Snudges, from their newly established headquarters at the Alhambra Cinema on Whitechapel Road, reigned over British filmmaking with the same menace they had demonstrated in the visual arts. Their influence, it is rumoured, in shutting down production of Carry On films has been hailed as one of the most important moments in post-war British filmmaking. Without their combination of visual narrative and the threat of bodily harm, Carry On would have carried on and the public would have been none the wiser.

It has also been rumoured (and now accepted as fact as no one has come forward to deny it) that the Snudges entered into covert operations with MI5 enhancing and expanding their video surveillance units in counter-espionage.

Truth or rumour, it is hard to tell, but it is widely known that British surveillance films are considered amongst the best in the world. MI5 consistently win the Best Film Judas (the espionage equivalent of the Oscar) almost on an annual basis. It is thought that the consistent yet ever-changing excellence of the MI5 films bear the hallmark of Snudge creativity and technique. Even the most ardent critics can't deny what appears to be surreptitious influence of the brothers Snudge. The classic multi-camera set-up, the seductive use of available light, and the compelling
Senses of menace in every shot, all unavoidably point the un-credited influence of the Snudges.

"We can't comment on that," bristles Juan Baptista. "All I can tell you is that wherever and whenever there's 24 frames per second, we know about it. Right? 'nuff said."

Like all gentlemen, the Snudges clearly would never kiss and tell. Ego is not a word they know and respect, utmost and undying, is their real currency.

And while they appear to have a low public profile, the Snudges prefer it that way. The less you've heard of them, the more they will likely influence you.

 

They have no peers, they have no rivals, the last of these, the Timlinsons, having failed to make any Dadaist inroads, are broken men living out their days as graphic artists for Scottish Field magazine.

Today the Snudges quietly enjoy their power and influence in all artistic realms. From the mean streets of London's fabled East End, the Snudge Bros. have achieved what few before have ever even attempted -- combining artistic sensitivity with corrosive brutality.

What remains for them? Juan Baptista fittingly sums it up -- "There's still Canada, no real culture, no real stories and from what I hear only seven painters in the whole place. We've always loved a challenge."

For related articles see:

-Guy Ritchie Reveals his Sources.

"Synergies in Deviance: Thuggery in British Landscape Painting"

"Chalk to Cheese: a Compendium of English Sidewalk Art"

"The Sixth and Seventh Man: British Surveillance 1964-84"

"Sid James Announces Retirement."